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Self-Pity

Self-Pitty-Bird

























I never saw a wild thing
sorry for itself.
A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough
without ever having felt sorry for itself.

Self-Pity
D.H. Lawrence

Living with CHF: The First Data Download

Yesterday, was my first “official” full ICD scan and data download. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. I know that there’s a magic wand that they use to wave over the device, but beyond that, I wasn’t quite sure what data it would reveal. Since I work for a software company, and generally like cool technology and gadgets in general, I wanted to know as much as possible.

Parking is always a pain at the hospital where my cardiologist has an office, so I went straight for the parking deck. I have some inside information about the deck, apparently there’s been a few issues lately with “a few break-ins”, and by “a few” apparently that really means 55+ in the past few months. When I pulled into the parking deck, there was a police car ahead of me, slowly making his rounds through the deck, I’m assuming trying to put a dent in the criminal activity . With an inability to pass, I kept my distance and waited. He pulled into a slot and I continued practicing lefthand turns until I reached the top and sunlit level of the deck. I thought that someone would have to be pretty ballsy to break into my car on the open level of the deck in the daylight – that’s just stress than I don’t want to deal with right know. Spoiler alert, the car ended up being fine.

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Of Matters of the Heart (Valentine’s Day 2014)

Three little words. That’s all that it takes to change a life forever. Say a the three little words to that special someone in your life and they could be yours forever.

Say three different little words, and your life could change forever. It’s the different three little words that have recently rocked my world.

Congestive Heart Failure. I hate the words really, they sound so dark, so ominous. It makes it sound as if The Reaper is always waiting just on the other side of the door. The reality of it all is that He is – not just for me, but for all of us. None of us really know how much time we have left, but we all know that the clock is ticking.

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Finding and Getting a Grip on Your Path

A good friend of mine (Ben), sent me this video today. A friend of his was on the film crew that shot the video so there’s two degrees of separation between Alex Honnold and myself. I’m sure that Kevin Bacon is in there somewhere too. Yes, there is. I checked The Oracle of Bacon and if you select all options, Alex Honnold has a Bacon number of 3. But I digress….

Obviously Alex Honnold isn’t nearly as famous as Mr. Bacon. Most people outside of the world of rock climbing have never heard of him. Now I don’t rock climb. I have in the past – both on actual rock faces and on man-made walls on ropes courses. I was never particularly good at it – I’ve always been a little afraid of heights, and I’ll be the first one to admit that my coordination is more than lacking.

Alex seems to have no fear of heights, a firm grip on his coordination, and has uncanny ability to navigate and traverse some of the, if not the most difficult routes on the planet. And did I mention that he does it all without ropes? That’s right. He’s a free solo climber – as in one wrong move and he looses it all. There are no ropes or nets to protect him. Now before you think that he’s absolutely insane, you also need to know that he’ll spend days or weeks planning, practicing, and cleaning routes before he attempts the accent without a rope. Just the man and the mountain. One finger grip or toe hold at a time, he seems to defy gravity and progresses gracefully up vertical granite faces until he reaches the summit.

Alex has found his passion. He’s proven time and time again; that with proper planning, a firm grip, anyone can follow their path and reach the top.

The Beat Goes On…

Throughout the years, I’ve had plenty of blogging false starts. I’ll feel inspired for a few days and then the posts will dwindle. The timeline doesn’t lie, I’ve been doing this all the way back to 2001. I’ve pulled a backlog of old and embarrassing content in from old online services and accounts. I still need to go through it all and correct broken links, etc. but that’s another project for another day. I’m not quite sure why I’ve always been consistently inconsistent with my blogging; maybe it’s that my ADD kicks in or that I really didn’t feel that I have anything interesting to blog about, but that’s far from the truth. I really do have plenty to write about – whether or not I have an audience that’s willing to listen, that’s another story.

Right now though, I’m not worried about having hundreds of readers a day, or thousands of twitter followers. The only number that I’m concerned with is, “1”. I know that doesn’t seem like much, after all, one is the loneliest number. In my book, one isn’t the loneliest number. Zero is.

I’m always one heartbeat away from zero – we all are. I’ll go into some history and details in future posts, but for now just know this…

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